Chelsea- Play or Pose

Here’s a rather novel approach which Jose Mourinho might find extremely useful in the run-up to the second leg Champions League semi-final against Liverpool in the intimidating atmosphere of Anfield. Especially as lately things seem to have started falling apart.

Cancel your stand-up act for the press and media people. You are a football manager, not an entertainer and in any case it’s all beginning to wear a bit thin. Forget about indulging your tedious hobby of destabilising and antagonising the opposition and trying to dictate their line-up and tactics for them. That is not your job and it is none of your business. Resist the temptation to waffle on about the troubles and injuries Chelsea have and abandon all your flimsy attempts to kid us that you are convinced that the opposition are favourites. They are not stupid, but you are if you think for a moment that any intelligent person is going to believe all that nonsense. Concentrate on preparing your team and for once accept the challenge to stop them diving and protesting like spoilt children. Insist that they play attractive entertaining football - they are quite capable of it and it will be such a relief after all the negative, robotic sideways and backwards stuff they’ve been boring us with for what seems like a couple of decades. And during the game for God’s sake lay off the officials and stop all that posing, protesting, pumping and gesticulating on the bench and in the technical area. Painful as it is, you simply have to recognise that people have come to see the players, not cringe at the immature antics of some puffed-up little Portuguese Narcissus.

And if you do all this, miracles may happen. People outside South West London may start to like you, and your players. It is possible that for the first time, lovers of football may consider that Chelsea are entitled to be mentioned in the same breath as Arsenal and Manchester United – the flair teams, the recognised and respected entertainers. And, who knows, you might even win the game as well as some new friends.