Power Cut

Next time you get the opportunity, take a good look at Chelsea striker Didier Drogba. Check out the physique. Massive, isn’t he? A real powerhouse and confident with it. No wonder they paid Marseille £24 million for him back in 2006. Bet you wouldn’t fancy marking him. Well, you’re not alone in that respect because most of the centre backs in the Premiership feel exactly the same way. No wonder he scores so many goals and hits the ball so hard with head and feet.

But hang on a minute. Isn’t this huge bloke the same guy who falls over and writhes in agony when someone tackles him, or he gets hit in the face by a ball that’s not travelling too fast? Surely he can’t be the Mighty Drogba one minute and Mr Fragile the next. No-one who watched the first leg of the Champions League semi-final against Liverpool and saw him crumple to the ground in front of the technical area for no apparent reason, there to be fussed over by a milling crowd of Chelsea officials, only to leap smartly to his feet moments later and hare off to do duty as a temporary central defender, will ever forget it. The question is, how do we account for it? When a man of such formidable physique falls so easily, it is normally a medical emergency – are we therefore to anticipate imminent news via eminent physicians writing in The Lancet? Or is there a more mundane explanation – which, heaven forbid, the cynics might call ‘cheating’?