Football

It’s not unusual these days to hear people enquiring, sometimes politely, what exactly the England manager Sven Goran Ericsson does to justify a salary reputed to be in the region of £4 million a year – particularly in the light of that rather embarrassing little episode against Denmark recently.

Well, for a start he does watch an awful lot of matches. And since his travels focus almost exclusively on the premiership, it gives him an opportunity to assess and re-assess some players while conveniently ignoring others (something which must be of marginal concern to Andy Johnson, Robert Green and numerous other good players in the lower divisions who unfortunately are neither Welsh nor Irish).

Based on his extensive knowledge and meticulous research, he also selects the players – almost certainly after careful consultation with his trusty assistant, Tord Grip. There is, however, little evidence to support the more cynical theories that it is, in fact, David Beckham who performs this duty.

Having selected and assembled his England players, Sven is responsible for their training and preparation. However, even with the help of the media, it is difficult to discern precisely what this entails, because it is necessary for security purposes that England training sessions should remain a closely guarded secret. That is why we always see Sven, accompanied by the faithful Tord Grip, in observing mode, usually with hands behind back – having presumably delegated the more strenuous part of the proceedings to Steve McLaren and Sammy Lee, who bustles about the place like an armadillo on speed. And as far as the activities of the players are concerned, what we are allowed to witness is generally confined to a few warm-up exercises, a bit of jogging and football’s answer to ‘piggy in the middle’.

The air of secrecy is preserved at the interviews, in which carefully selected players confine themselves to their well-rehearsed clichés and Sven himself is absolutely charming, while preserving a politician’s instinct for saying nothing whatsoever of substance in as few words as he can get away with.

Sometimes, if we are lucky, we get an inkling of the tactical master plan. And when it comes to a challenge like Wales at the Millennium Stadium that’s serious business. Apparently, the latest bubble to come off the think tank has Wayne Rooney in a lone role up front, with a packed midfield of 5. That should do it. After all, better safe than sorry. Cardiff is, as they say in football, ‘a difficult place to go’.

What counts, as always, is the match itself. Managers are judged by results – nowhere more than at the highest level. Unless, of course, it happens to be a friendly, which is really little more than an opportunity to see how many England caps you can give out and if possible how much revenue can be made. That’s why Sven’s record in friendlies, which don’t matter much, is so different from his record in competitive games, which do. Either way, two things remain constant. Most of Sven’s work is ‘behind the scenes’ and what we do see is, to say the least, rather passive. Regardless of what happens, he sits and watches – alive without ever being considered lively.

As a result many have accused him of lacking passion – on the football field at least – and while it is inconceivable that in the face of some perceived injustice he could prance around like Sir Alex, arms flailing and face purple with rage, the majority of England fans just long for some outward manifestation of the fire which he claims burns fiercely within. Perhaps they aren’t paying him enough for that.